I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn’t think you’d live through. Tell me what the word “home” means to you and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mother’s name just by the way you describe your bed room when you were 8. See, I wanna know the first time you felt the weight of hate and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you prefer to play in puddles of rain or bounce in the bellies of snow? And if you were to build a snowman, would you rip two branches from a tree to build your snowman arms? Or would you leave the snowman armless for the sake of being harmless to the tree? And if you would, would you notice how that tree weeps for you because your snowman has no arms to hug you every time you kiss him on the cheek? Do you kiss your friends on the cheek? Do you sleep beside them when they’re sad, even if it makes your lover mad? Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain? See, I wanna know what you think of your first name. And if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mother’s joy when she spoke it for the very first time. I want you tell me all the ways you’ve been unkind. Tell me all the ways you’ve been cruel. See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living. I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving. And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes. I wanna know if you bleed sometimes through other people’s wounds.
I had good intentions and was truly taking positive steps to annex gossip from my life. However, I am going to admit this up front. Quitting both verbal and mental negative thought processes is impossible; at least for me. I admire the Jewish woman I read about in my final article summary. I clearly do not have the strength of mind after so many years of judging those around me to merely quit cold turkey. I did not realize how often I thought horrible things about other woman strictly because I had deemed it okay and normal and society and the culture surrounding that had as well.
Although I cannot say “I was 100% successful. I annexed all gossiping and negative thoughts from my mind because I am a champion” I can say I made a lot of positive strategies and have noticed the problem and have tried to correct it.
First of as far as success strategies go I found that the Pavloff’s dogs approach worked wonders. After my first day of this conditioning training when I realized I had 200 sit ups to do and 4 miles to run I was not a pleased individual. After this whenever I realized I was judging another females looks, style, mannerisms etc around me I openly forced myself to control my thoughts and focus on the positive instead. I think the most efficient motivation for me was this kind of harsh conditioning strategy in which I knew what the consequences were not only exercise wise but also for myself. From my literature I realized that these negative thoughts were a two street. If I was thinking these things about other people they could just as easily and probably were thinking very similar thoughts about me. Did I want to live in the kind of world where every individual I interacted with was sizing me up as I was doing to them? No. Certainly not. Because I cannot control other’s thoughts the only thing I can do is control my own. The first step to liberation.